- My mom buys really really nice toilet paper. The stuff is so super-absorbent I count out 4 squares instead of just pulling the roll. Seriously, took some getting used to. Also surprising how often I still go to throw tp into the trash, only to redirect mid-motion.
- There is high fructose corn syrup in EVERYthing. EVERYTHING.
- I don't care for the Mexican-grown avocados that are apparently my only choice here. This makes me VERY very sad.
- I miss Inka Cola.
- Snow and slush in vast quantities aren't as fun- nay, not even as tolerable- when one cannot locate one's kick-butt snow boots...
- Everybody here has so - much - space. As in houses and personal property. Granted, we live close to rural areas, but even the 'city suburbia' is spacious when compared to majority of Lima. And the houses themselves are spacious, even the small ones... Houses are starting to 'look normal' again now, but I'm not so sure that's a good thing. Just like I didn't like it that the 'normal Lima' residential vistas no longer jarred me- it was just 'normal' to see. And it was good when new people came and I saw it through their eyes again for the first time. People can become accustomed to ANYthing, if they are exposed to it long enough.
- I despise the job search process.
- I have the most AWESOME family in the world- immediate and extended, and on both sides of my family. (Notice I did NOT say 'perfect', but 'awesome'. There is a difference, and I think that the key to having an awesome family is to recognize and embrace the imperfect status that will ALWAYS exist.
- I love driving on real highways and byways again.
- I love having a real postal service again.
- I miss being able to hail a taxi in front of your home and being taken directly to the door of your destination for pennies... well, couple of bucks. If it's kinda far... Door to door service where I'm not driving... sigh. I didn't miss the actual 'driving' the way Cindy always did. (public transpo? I'll take it!)
- I almost cried in church because the songs they were singing weren't in Spanish: cried because I MISSED the SPANISH. I missed the worship leader at the church I went to in Lima. Missed how energetic the singing there was.
- I have been a little bored in church- my brain is like: what? this is it? it's all in English? i don't have to translate and assimilate? um, ok, um, wait- is he still talking? missed that all-English paragraph- really? all English?
- I have a lot of stuff packed in a lot of places. Almost none of it readily accessible.
- I have a little room in which to 'unpack' my stuff- therefore almost none of it truly unpacked. Such is life living in a room in a basement already filled with things from your old apartment and your sister's, and then all the normal basement things mom and dad have down there.
- I miss my mattress in Peru. It was comfy. (No comment on the one here.)
- Pretzels are cheap again. (relatively speaking)
- I miss living with Chessa, Heidi, Kari, and Christina. I miss the silly read bird being passed around secretively and unexpectedly between us in new and laughter-inducing places.
- Things SEEM further away from each other here... maybe because i have to be the one driving now...
- I have absolutely NO IDEA who half the people on the news are ('real' news makers, or sports/entertainment), nor the details of any of the national news/govt debates on deficit, health care, etc etc etc... NO CLUE about anything that's been happening.
- I have had enough of winter now. I am SO ready for an ENTIRE summer spent in one hemisphere.
Tuesday, February 15
Time keeps on tickin'...
...Into the future. I feel like I should post a new post just because that last one was so despairing. So, here is a post of thoughts in 3 weeks of being back in the States:
Wednesday, January 26
How hard can it be?
Really, how hard can it be to figure out the next best step for the rest of your life? (It'd be easier if my fingers weren't numb due to the cold basement and I didn't have to backtrack to fix so many typing mistakes as a result of said numbness...)
I mean, come on. Joyce Meyers told me to be determined. Okay. So does the Bible. Even better!!! I'm determined to be a teacher. Ok. The internet is supposed to make that easier too. ok. Here's an idea: why aren't teaching standards national??? I'm so tired of trying to navigate the morass of 'what do i have to do to get certification' based on what state I'm planning to teach in. GIVE ME A BREAK. Talk about a system built in the times of living your whole life in a 50 mile radius! MOBILITY means I can go anywhere in this country, but I have to decide where I'm gonna end up in five years right NOW so that I'll know what requirements I need to fulfill. But really, it doesn't much matter anyway, because unless someone else is going to pay for this, I ain't going anywhere any time soon.
So, I start looking for all those 'things' people say exist: programs for high-need areas, programs for women over 35 (that's me!) to go back to school, blah blah blah... MORASS of internet sludge...
Places to post your resume... great, okay, but I LOOK TERRIBLE ON PAPER, and I don't HAVE $85 to pay to post anything, thank you very much, no thank you.
TESOL/TEFL/ESL certification, because at least then I can be qualified to teach abroad... OH. MY. STARS. Go ahead, I dare you: put "online TEFL courses" into google... go on. Holy cow. And all touting their great and all-important accreditation, and all with different accrediting organizations... So how do I know which ones just MIGHT be accepted by US school entities at a later date? I don't, I guess. At least, I can't find that info. And the little info I did find seems to change from- you guessed it- state to state!!! So, I've got my last $500 to spend on 1 program... I feel like I'm playing Russian roulette!
Come ON people. I want to teach. I want to work hard and study hard to learn to be a better teacher. I am willing to go just about anywhere in the country to do so. What google search do I run for that???
Really, how hard can this be? (And do I have to spend much longer sitting at this computer? Cuz I think I'm developing a hemorrhoidal condition.)
Seriously, prayer for research that actually yields profitable results in the matter of finding gainful employment is appreciated. Especially pertaining to pursuing TEFL, etc. certification/diploma online in order to make myself more marketable (and I just would really LIKE to do it!!!!) Thanks. And now my fingers aren't moving so I'm going to bed. ;)
I mean, come on. Joyce Meyers told me to be determined. Okay. So does the Bible. Even better!!! I'm determined to be a teacher. Ok. The internet is supposed to make that easier too. ok. Here's an idea: why aren't teaching standards national??? I'm so tired of trying to navigate the morass of 'what do i have to do to get certification' based on what state I'm planning to teach in. GIVE ME A BREAK. Talk about a system built in the times of living your whole life in a 50 mile radius! MOBILITY means I can go anywhere in this country, but I have to decide where I'm gonna end up in five years right NOW so that I'll know what requirements I need to fulfill. But really, it doesn't much matter anyway, because unless someone else is going to pay for this, I ain't going anywhere any time soon.
So, I start looking for all those 'things' people say exist: programs for high-need areas, programs for women over 35 (that's me!) to go back to school, blah blah blah... MORASS of internet sludge...
Places to post your resume... great, okay, but I LOOK TERRIBLE ON PAPER, and I don't HAVE $85 to pay to post anything, thank you very much, no thank you.
TESOL/TEFL/ESL certification, because at least then I can be qualified to teach abroad... OH. MY. STARS. Go ahead, I dare you: put "online TEFL courses" into google... go on. Holy cow. And all touting their great and all-important accreditation, and all with different accrediting organizations... So how do I know which ones just MIGHT be accepted by US school entities at a later date? I don't, I guess. At least, I can't find that info. And the little info I did find seems to change from- you guessed it- state to state!!! So, I've got my last $500 to spend on 1 program... I feel like I'm playing Russian roulette!
Come ON people. I want to teach. I want to work hard and study hard to learn to be a better teacher. I am willing to go just about anywhere in the country to do so. What google search do I run for that???
Really, how hard can this be? (And do I have to spend much longer sitting at this computer? Cuz I think I'm developing a hemorrhoidal condition.)
Seriously, prayer for research that actually yields profitable results in the matter of finding gainful employment is appreciated. Especially pertaining to pursuing TEFL, etc. certification/diploma online in order to make myself more marketable (and I just would really LIKE to do it!!!!) Thanks. And now my fingers aren't moving so I'm going to bed. ;)
Sunday, January 23
It's been- One Week...
...since I left Peru, said goodbye, took a plane to Atlanta.
(I love that song, One Week. However, I will not attempt to continue writing in the rhyme scheme of said cancion.)
A week ago, I was there, in the Jorge Chavez International Airport, boarding a 767 for Atlanta, connecting to Chicago Midway. A week ago, I was still on Peruvian soil. A week ago, I was still on summer vacation.
Now, I'm just unemployed. Now, I'm sending/submitting job applications, reluctantly; interviewing and procuring employment being the miraculous blessing that it would be, it would also be the final punctuation mark of NOT using that return trip ticket February 21. I've said already, and known it would be true: So far, it hasn't been THAT much harder to leave Peru and come back to the States because it's the third time I've done it. The previous two times, I was home for a month, and returned. It will get harder as the days pass, and my time is spent seeking gainful employment and trying to unpack my 36 years of life back into one room in my parents' basement, instead of seeking missionary support and repacking my next year's worth of teaching into two 50-lb suitcases.
I am reluctant to go to church tomorrow, to thank all those wonderful people for making my three years possible, especially this last year, and to tell them that I've no idea what I'll be doing now. I don't want to think about the fact that I don't get to prepare my classroom for the next group of third graders- for Diego, and Vittorio, for Sara Isabela and Paula and Hannah and Grecia, for Luciano and all the others whose stories I have heard from second grade teacher Katie Guerrero.
I don't want to think about the fact that I don't get to prepare ANY classroom, ANYwhere, for ANY students. That's really what I don't want to think about. And yet, I have to, if I ever want to get BACK to doing just that: I've got to figure out, search out, apply and pray for HOW God will put me back into a classroom, somewhere. Because if nothing else, my 3 years in Peru showed me very clearly that in a classroom is exactly where I desire to be, where God intended me to use the abilities He's given me.
I don't want to think about the fact that in this economy, I'll be lucky to find ANY job, let alone one that I'll actually grow in and enjoy. That's the fear I battle now: that I'll take the first available job because I need money to live by, and I'll end up in a position that saps the joy of living right out of me. Because that's what happened the last time I was in a similar situation, and it was, quite honestly, a little bit of hell on earth. My conviction that God will provide for me in a way that will NOT strip me of all joy is at war with the fallen fear of future unknowns, of becoming a stress and leech to my wonderful family.
I am not sure HOW I can still be fearful- my life is a testimony to the gracious provision of God, a witness to the blessings He bestows when I am following His will in faith. Fear, or Faith: that is the question, really.
When I have stepped in faith before, He has vanquished fear and led me beside still waters and green pastures through blackest shadows to a table of surety and safety set in the very presence of the things that seek to destroy me...
What has God done for you? When has He stilled your fears and amazed you with His mercy and provision? Seriously, I'd like to hear stories from others. Like it says in Romans, that 'all these things' were written for the encouragement and hope of others to come... (paraphrased), hearing the stories of others gives us the encouragement to hope that we often lack on our own. Can you take a moment to share? With everyone, or just to me?
Thank you all for your continued support. I have received some 'extra Christmas' checks that have really been helpful. I have felt always that I am prayed for, and that is such a gift for which I can't express my thanks enough.
One week. 4000 miles. What will one MORE week bring? (Eyes on Jesus, not on my own footprints, right?)
Peace and grace to you all,
Emily
(I love that song, One Week. However, I will not attempt to continue writing in the rhyme scheme of said cancion.)
A week ago, I was there, in the Jorge Chavez International Airport, boarding a 767 for Atlanta, connecting to Chicago Midway. A week ago, I was still on Peruvian soil. A week ago, I was still on summer vacation.
Now, I'm just unemployed. Now, I'm sending/submitting job applications, reluctantly; interviewing and procuring employment being the miraculous blessing that it would be, it would also be the final punctuation mark of NOT using that return trip ticket February 21. I've said already, and known it would be true: So far, it hasn't been THAT much harder to leave Peru and come back to the States because it's the third time I've done it. The previous two times, I was home for a month, and returned. It will get harder as the days pass, and my time is spent seeking gainful employment and trying to unpack my 36 years of life back into one room in my parents' basement, instead of seeking missionary support and repacking my next year's worth of teaching into two 50-lb suitcases.
I am reluctant to go to church tomorrow, to thank all those wonderful people for making my three years possible, especially this last year, and to tell them that I've no idea what I'll be doing now. I don't want to think about the fact that I don't get to prepare my classroom for the next group of third graders- for Diego, and Vittorio, for Sara Isabela and Paula and Hannah and Grecia, for Luciano and all the others whose stories I have heard from second grade teacher Katie Guerrero.
I don't want to think about the fact that I don't get to prepare ANY classroom, ANYwhere, for ANY students. That's really what I don't want to think about. And yet, I have to, if I ever want to get BACK to doing just that: I've got to figure out, search out, apply and pray for HOW God will put me back into a classroom, somewhere. Because if nothing else, my 3 years in Peru showed me very clearly that in a classroom is exactly where I desire to be, where God intended me to use the abilities He's given me.
I don't want to think about the fact that in this economy, I'll be lucky to find ANY job, let alone one that I'll actually grow in and enjoy. That's the fear I battle now: that I'll take the first available job because I need money to live by, and I'll end up in a position that saps the joy of living right out of me. Because that's what happened the last time I was in a similar situation, and it was, quite honestly, a little bit of hell on earth. My conviction that God will provide for me in a way that will NOT strip me of all joy is at war with the fallen fear of future unknowns, of becoming a stress and leech to my wonderful family.
I am not sure HOW I can still be fearful- my life is a testimony to the gracious provision of God, a witness to the blessings He bestows when I am following His will in faith. Fear, or Faith: that is the question, really.
When I have stepped in faith before, He has vanquished fear and led me beside still waters and green pastures through blackest shadows to a table of surety and safety set in the very presence of the things that seek to destroy me...
What has God done for you? When has He stilled your fears and amazed you with His mercy and provision? Seriously, I'd like to hear stories from others. Like it says in Romans, that 'all these things' were written for the encouragement and hope of others to come... (paraphrased), hearing the stories of others gives us the encouragement to hope that we often lack on our own. Can you take a moment to share? With everyone, or just to me?
Thank you all for your continued support. I have received some 'extra Christmas' checks that have really been helpful. I have felt always that I am prayed for, and that is such a gift for which I can't express my thanks enough.
One week. 4000 miles. What will one MORE week bring? (Eyes on Jesus, not on my own footprints, right?)
Peace and grace to you all,
Emily
Monday, January 10
Weather still exists.
Well, dear friends, weather DOES still exist. Not here in Lima (Except for last Wednesday night, when it actually RAINED for the first time in 3 years), but it does still exist. I'd forgotten about weather. I'd forgotten about organizing one's life around weather, according to the weather, as a result of unexpected weather.
This morning, God, and my good friend Dana Chen, reminded me that weather still exists. I have a ticket to leave Lima tonight, arrive in Atlanta tomorrow morning, and fly into Chicago at 11 a.m. Dana is picking me up and driving me the couple of hours to Elkhart, Indiana, and home. Well, at least, that was the plan, before The Weather.
Dana remembers that weather exists (living in Chicago, one cannot forget it), and so she was smart enough to check my flights when she heard about the storms in the southeast... I didn't even KNOW about storms, and it NEVER would have occurred to me to check. Because weather doesn't exist here. You never have to check anything. Ever. Dana checked. And this morning by 11:00, my flight from ATL to Chicago had already been canceled. So she called me. And I tried to log into my itinerary and couldn't. So she called Delta, and discovered my NEW travel arrangements.
NEW travel arrangements: Arrive in ATL at 8:00 a.m. Sit in ATL airport until 7:30 p.m. Leave for DETROIT. Stay in Detroit airport until 7:00 a.m. Wednesday morning. Fly to Chicago. Instead of 12 hours travel time: 36 hours, plus some driving. I am not too excited about this. For many reasons. One of which is buying airport food for a day and a half is NOT in my budget... (since my support was only through December, I am now officially unemployed). Any way....
Had sister Cindy call Delta reservations for me. Cuz let's face it, wouldn't Delta prefer it if I just took myself out of the equation for a few days? I'd much rather enjoy the weatherless summer of Lima for a few extra days than to sit around enduring various airports in uncomfortable seats and public restrooms, with no traveling companions to watch my ultra heavy carry-on bags...
So, now I am leaving Lima SATURDAY night/Sunday morning. And arriving in Chicago Sunday at 11:00 a.m. And Dana will still pick me up and drive me home to Indiana. And there will be whoopie pies from Auntie JoAnn, and much rejoicing.
Assuming the weather holds.
;)
This morning, God, and my good friend Dana Chen, reminded me that weather still exists. I have a ticket to leave Lima tonight, arrive in Atlanta tomorrow morning, and fly into Chicago at 11 a.m. Dana is picking me up and driving me the couple of hours to Elkhart, Indiana, and home. Well, at least, that was the plan, before The Weather.
Dana remembers that weather exists (living in Chicago, one cannot forget it), and so she was smart enough to check my flights when she heard about the storms in the southeast... I didn't even KNOW about storms, and it NEVER would have occurred to me to check. Because weather doesn't exist here. You never have to check anything. Ever. Dana checked. And this morning by 11:00, my flight from ATL to Chicago had already been canceled. So she called me. And I tried to log into my itinerary and couldn't. So she called Delta, and discovered my NEW travel arrangements.
NEW travel arrangements: Arrive in ATL at 8:00 a.m. Sit in ATL airport until 7:30 p.m. Leave for DETROIT. Stay in Detroit airport until 7:00 a.m. Wednesday morning. Fly to Chicago. Instead of 12 hours travel time: 36 hours, plus some driving. I am not too excited about this. For many reasons. One of which is buying airport food for a day and a half is NOT in my budget... (since my support was only through December, I am now officially unemployed). Any way....
Had sister Cindy call Delta reservations for me. Cuz let's face it, wouldn't Delta prefer it if I just took myself out of the equation for a few days? I'd much rather enjoy the weatherless summer of Lima for a few extra days than to sit around enduring various airports in uncomfortable seats and public restrooms, with no traveling companions to watch my ultra heavy carry-on bags...
So, now I am leaving Lima SATURDAY night/Sunday morning. And arriving in Chicago Sunday at 11:00 a.m. And Dana will still pick me up and drive me home to Indiana. And there will be whoopie pies from Auntie JoAnn, and much rejoicing.
Assuming the weather holds.
;)
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