My Mother's Day

So, a while ago i posted "oh dear what a long time" in the form of random comments in list form. I got one comment (yes, i know i'm really writing this just for you, Lis!) and it was about the comment i made regarding my mother.
the comment was: "my mom is a pretty incredible woman. (i'm not really bummed about that.) too bad i took so long to really figure that out. (i am bummed about that.)"
Mellifluous wanted to know what prompted me to write that. At the time, i think it was just the whole recent event of my mom's mom dying, her funeral, and observing Mom interacting with her siblings and friends and family. But if i'm thinking about it now, then i would write as follows...
My Mom
I first got an inkling of what kind of woman my mother was when i went to college. isn't that the way it always seems to work?
i left home and went to des moines and met many wonderful young men and women who became great and lasting friends. Most of these closest friends were also Jesus followers (aka Christian), but many of the them were NOT from Christian homes. Many of them did not have both parents, either because of death or irreconcilable differences. Many of them had parents who were their inspiration only because they gave an example of what NOT to do...
And i realized that i had awesome parents. And that my parents/family were not the norm.
That was my first wake up call. My second wake up call came when i had moved back home after college. (isn't that the way it always seems to work?)
i did actually live with my parents for about 2 yrs after college, and then moved out into my own place. Somewhere along that time, i became a charter member of a small group Bible study composed of people that went to my family's church. i ended up being part of that group for 5 years. i was one of the youngest in the group. the "oldest" was a couple that was my parents' age and was in my parents' Sunday School class. They were people whose integrity and intelligence i respected greatly. He was teaching their Sunday School class at the time, and it was common knowledge that he was a good teacher. She was an open and honest and inspired "wounded healer" whose compassion was tangible. i'd heard my mom refer to both of them with admiration for their faith, their insight, their ability to connect with and come alongside people and minister. And just be good friends. good people. my mom would definately say "they're good people."
So, one time at small group, several years into it, the discussion somehow produced the second wake up call about my mom as a human being and not just "my mom". i wish that i could better recall the circumstances, but i can't. i think that our conversation involved the way parents influence us even as adults? i dunno. but i said something to the effect of "i realized after going to college what a great blessing God gave me in the form of my parents".
Now, please note that my dad moved us from colorado to indiana so he could go to seminary and become a minister. he has shelves and shelves full of "Bible books". he has given sermons. he was an elder at our church when i was a little girl. he's been involved in more ways than i can remember in church leadership. he was this guy that people respected and said good things about as far as church/faith/religious stuff. i'm used to hearing from people what a Godly man my father is. (And i mostly agree with everything i hear! *grin*)
So when i mention in small group what a blessing my parents have been in my life, i must confess that i am taken by surprise when the compassionate wounded healer immediately affirms my comment and begins extolling the incredible spriitual depth and level of faith she so admires in my mother. Up to that point, i'd known my mom was cool, was Godly, and was a good friend. i was beginning to experience those aspects of her in my life as an adult. But in one statement, this woman literally peeled the scales off my eyes and revealed my mother as a woman that was admired and respected and valued by other woman of God who were cool and good friends. women who i admired. who i thought had it all together. here was this woman saying how she is constantly amazed by my mom and what an incredible person she is and how glad she is to know her.
i think i actually verbalized to my small group my surprise, and sudden awareness of how little i know about my mother's interactions with others. and the heads started nodding around the circle agreeing with how much they all felt the same way about my mom as this couple.
I started paying more attention after that. and as time passes, my sister and i keep adding things to the "wow- Mom was really ahead of her time/is really used by God" realizations.
granted, there are still times when my mother is "just" my mother- my frustrating, slightly annoying, sometimes forgetful mom. i know there are still times that i am "just" her frustrating, very stubborn, bossy little girl. but on the whole, i think that Mom and i have a healthy friendship with a rock-solid foundation, and that the friendship, the Rock foundation, and the person she is proud to see me becoming are all greatly due to her success as a human being- following Jesus, praising God, and acting in the Spirit.