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Wednesday, December 20
Chicago Teaching Fellows Program update
Monday, December 11
i am a teacher
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Saturday, November 11
the news of my demise...

in fact:
i feel better!
so much better, that:
i think i'll go for a walk!
ever feel like the cart is pulling up alongside, just waiting to take you out with the rest of the dead? luckily, i haven't got anyone in my life to thwack me over the head and make me eligible for the cart prematurely. this is lucky, you see, because i've been right at that "thrown over someone's shoulder to be carried out to the death cart" place for the last little while- and (as you can see in the still shot from the movie) it's a precarious position. but, i truly have been feeling better the last week or so, and think that my outlook just may be more fortunate than the outcome for the poor old man in the movie.
i am hopeful, at least. and hope is half the battle. maybe more than half.
(if you are clueless regarding the movie the still shot is taken from, then i will refer you to a transcript of this scene from this great and esteemed miracle of 20th century cinema: http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/grail-02.htm and encourage you to experience the movie in it's full glory- i've got it on dvd should you need it. hee hee.)
I have lately finished reading for the second time that volume of literature titled Jane Eyre; a novel of not only engaging characters and intrigue of plot, but one which also reminds the reader of the rather startling- indeed, frightening- decline in quality of the average person's usage of basic language in communication: namely, the near extinction of the art of writing and reading volumes containing more than the vocabulary of a small child and which are constructed of sentences and descriptive passages more complex than those employed by Dr. Seuss. Let me not convey that I disparage the talent or the place in our culture for Dr. Seuss as a literary figure; I have enjoyed the eccentric rhymes and jovial illustrations of that author as like as any other. I am merely struck by the extreme abandonment of the current so-called modern culture of the study and practice of language in it's more complex and effective forms. I think it is not mere coincidence that, as the true ability to author and orate in fine form has declined, so have the abilities of the common masses to construct thoughts and follow thoughts that are longer than 10 words and need more than 10 seconds to express. This lethargy of the mind, this loss of keen conversation and sharp observation conveyed within finely crafted sentences, appears to me as grave a deficiency of society as any other put forward by the statesmen, clerical leaders, and social commentators of our day.
And if you followed that, then i entreat you to go immediately to the library and procure for yourself a copy of Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre forthwith.
Monday, November 6
still alive
car insurance is due nov. 20 and my eyeglasses broke last week. (the day before cindy found out about her job.) with the holiday season coming up, loss of income is even more keenly felt.
i'm confused and frustrated, and starting to feel angry at God, at myself, at my sister, at anyone who has more money than i do and wastes it frivolously... did i mention God? so, prayer would be very helpful. thanks.
on a positive note: Barbaro's cast was removed today! this is the cast on the leg that was actually injured in the Preakness; it has been replaced with plastic and fabric split/support wrap. his lower left foot is still bandaged and being treated for laminitis in the left rear hoof. that will need another six months to "fully" recover. i'm so thrilled. www.timwoolleyracing.com
Wednesday, November 1
i tried blogging on friday....
now, that doesn't sound very exciting, i know. but it included several number's-worth (on that list) talking about how angry i get at seeing God's creatures (humans) abusing other of God's creatures (humans and exotic animals). i was watching 20/20 and they had two stories- one on a wife-beater, and one on the increasingly dangerous tendency for exotic animals "sanctuaries" to be money-making up-close-and-personal encounters resulting in unsafe situations and death.
it also included a running commentary on the World Series game underway that evening. it turned out to be the last World Series game, as St Louis surprised just about everyone by winning the title in 5 games. my little comments about the state of the game were witty and amusing. you'll have to take my word on it.
those comments alos included the statement: "i would like to take this opportunity to declare one last time to the entire world that i live in the home of the Major League Baseball World Champions- the Chicago White Sox! Because, in about five minutes, barring a miracle for Detroit, i won't be able to say that any more..."
so tonight i am blogging just to say that i tried to blog on friday and was thwarted. but, i am still alive, and i am doing pretty well, all things considered.
in fact, today i was treated to an especially nice and wonderful occurance that lifted my spirits immensely all day long: i got a card from my friend melissa. and, not only was the card a welcomed encouragement, but this card also contained something more precious than gold: pictures of her gorgeous and adorable children!!!
i needed uplifting today, because this evening my eyeglasses broke. so tomorrow morning i will go out in search of dirt-cheap glasses. i have contacts that i can wear but only for short periods of time. so tonight i've been wearing my sunglasses (prescription, yes) and feeling rather silly. (yes, everyone, go ahead and start singing, my sister has been all evening: "i wear my sunglasses at night...")
okay, well, i'm going to go for this evening. don't want to risk another meltdown and loss of blog content. i'll try to write more regularly. sorry.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Monday, October 2
Is this cheating?
So, is that cheating? i don't think so. maybe i'll make little notes at the bottom: written 9/5 entered 10/2? dunno. but here's what i wrote on monday, september 5.
um- okay. i can't seem to find what i wrote. this stinks. i guess the whole question of cheating is now moot.
well, now i don't know what to write. i'm still unemployed. of course, i can't really remember if i've written stuff about being unemployed or not. just today i was stuck again by how much i don't miss my job AT ALL. i was thinking about how much less stress is in my life. about how i don't wake up dreading getting out of bed, how i don't go to sleep dreading having to get up and go to work. about how much i didn't truly realize how stressed and full of dread my life had become. even without a job, i feel so weightless. it helps that cindy is working much more now, and that the umemployment officer saw things my way and i'm getting unemployment benefits. so i can breathe a bit while taking more time to try and find a job i'll actually enjoy. so far, haven't yet gotten any calls back from any of the jobs for which i've applied. this is discouraging. especially since one of them is at the Museum of Science and Industry in the Education department working with demonstrations to the public. *sigh* i could do that. i would enjoy that. but there are most probably a ton of people out there with a ton more qualifications. and that is what's frustrating. oh well.
gonna go now. really bummed i couldn't find the stuff i wanted to enter.